As I have promised, I will blog about my breakthrough and experiences about my Morning Prayer Meeting in the second week of February. Many could have heard of my spiritual-emotional attack the day before Morning Prayer Meeting starts. *To be optimistic, it is only through attacks we encounter breakthrough*
I was eager for this Prayer Meeting because I will have the chance to pray with my all-time favorite prayer partner, Weiyu. It is really amazing how God allows us to encourage each other to seek Him in anytime of our lives. Anyway, it was tough to wake up early in the morning when you end the day before late and having the mentality that there’s another prayer meeting in the evening. It was a “pain” to many if they are in my shoes, especially so that they don’t have to work. =]
It was tough and painful for me to do it, but I know yet that these have been these days where I have been waiting for. It is because I have seen how God never shortchanged those people who truly seek Him and forget about who they are to pursue their love for God. I set my alarm clock at 4.30am and I remembered because I was so devastated the day before, Sunday, I slept at about 2am. Yet at 4am on a Monday morning, I woke up. =] I told myself it is still early and my alarm clock has not rang, so I can stay in a little longer and as I closed my eyes I heard a voice that says, “Dear, this is the time of which you promised Me.” I knew it is God. And my wake up calls came at 4am EVERYDAY through the week! God is amazing, isn’t He! =]
Day 1 of prayer meeting – Renewing and restoring me
It was a heavy heart that I bring to the Hall in Heart of God Church. I know I have to lay at the altar of God from that moment on, yet as I pray and as I put down, it seems tough to even want to do it. I doubt my faith, my ability to trust God one more time. I don’t know, God seems far when I cry out to Him for my greatest need. I know I have to move on, even when a part of me doesn’t want to. I JUST GOT TO GET OUT AND MOVE ON. As we all know, it is easier to say than done, it is easier to think than act. Has my will-power got stronger with my faith-level? I doubt so. After about 20minutes of yelling to God in my prayer, a strong wind of peace got a hold of me. I felt someone “hugging” me and assuring me and with it, I heard “I know it all and I love you. Thank you for sharing and trusting in me; believing I will help you out” Tears almost fell down my cheeks. I wasn’t crying physically but inside of me, I know I am weeping like a baby. From there, I heard the Lord spoke, “Read Psalm 86”. I flipped my bible and I just can’t believe God is any more real than this; He spoke out from my heart!
Hear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.
Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you.
Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long.
Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.
Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.
In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.
Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours.
All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord; they will bring glory to your name.
For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.
The arrogant are attacking me, O God; a band of ruthless men seeks my life - men without regard for you.
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
Turn to me and have mercy on me; grant your strength to your servant and save the son of your maidservant.
Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.
I left the place a little better but still I was down and in pain within my heart. I was crying like a baby when no one sees. I was hiding behind the curtain where no one can find me. But above all, I took what I have to trust and turn to God. I know when everything can goes wrong, it will, but my God is faithful and true; He is the same yesterday, today and forevermore. =] *thank God*
Day 2 of Prayer Meeting – The Lord will help; He is strengthening me today.
Today was much more painful than yesterday because I “confronted” and got my queries answered. I was more disappointed than what it was all to be. I didn’t really any happier or easier to get to prayer meeting today, but like said, it is a promised unto God, I will do so. For my love for God, I will just do it, even when I may not feel good in doing so. I was really lost and numb; pain and astray. Yet God is faithful till the end with me and for me. I know my prayer that morning was pure “dumb” of myself, I cried out to God and said, “I don’t want to carry on anymore, I don’t want to live, I want to give up everything that I have”. I yelled and yelled, mumbled, grumbled, complaint and saying, bitching and nagging, I stopped as I grew tired of doing so. I heard that voice and it says, “If there is no one who you can live for, you live for ME.” And there I saw, God picked me out from Hell to reality. He continued to say, “He will be back and trust me on my plans for your life.” It was a total remorseful moment when God enlightened my heart, I plead for forgiveness and the strength to move on the way God wants me to do so. =]
Day 3 of Prayer Meeting – God restored; His healing power is INSTANT
I know today is just different. I woke up with a joy that I know won’t be fake. I know the joy that’s within me, the cup that’s overflowing. Today is just a totally different day. =] Go d has been good to me, so when I started praying today, I was just thanking the Lord for the joy that He is pouring unto me, and the live He is restoring back to me. I know it is just God doing His work in me. Today, I know nothing is too tough for me to handle because God had given me what He knew I will overcome, but not overcome by my own, but overcome together with Him. God is not a God who loves to see us in pain, He is screaming from Heaven to see us rejoicing in breakthrough which He had prepared for you and me! =] Just like the Lord promised in His word in Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Nothing is impossible with God who is in me! Thus seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and everything will be added unto you.
God had asked me to listen and as I listen; this is the song God wants me to hear.
I can see the glory of the Lord
Falling from Heaven
Falling around me
I can hear the calling of the Lord
Drawing me closer
Into Eternity
Holy Ghost
Breathe upon me
Into my soul
Fill me with glory
All my life
I want to sing
Praises to You
Here in Your Sanctuary
Day 4 of Prayer Meeting – Give thanks for Deliverance and Breakthrough
I didn’t make it for Morning Prayer Meeting today in Heart of God Church, I went to Riverwalk instead. When I was there, I saw my Cell Group members and Cell Group Leader too. I saw the hunger in all of us to just want to seek God and hear from God; standing in the gap to just pray and believe in God. As I enter the hall, I was feeling pretty easy and tuning to God was like a norm. I felt free when I start to pray and I could feel the presence of God. I saw NEW level ahead of me, I saw NEW wine that’s replacing the old, and I saw NEW of everything that God had changed for me. He is speaking to me, “The old has passed and the NEW has come.” I saw myself reciting Psalm 23 and thanking the Lord for His ever-true promises in my life. I yearned to have more of God and less of me and even when there is less of me, God spoke, “Nothing that forms against me can prosper.” God is far beyond what our human mind can truly imagine. He is too real to even resist. My cry that evening for a brand NEW level in serving Him.
*I saw “him” in Riverwalk too yet the feeling of seeing him is so much different from what it used to be. It goes to show, I have had already moved on, little did I know, but at some checkpoints, you will just see the results of your efforts.*
Day 5 of Prayer Meeting – Never Never Never Give up – Carry on that one MORE mile
Coming to the last of this month Prayer Meeting; I know it had just been yet the beginning. I thank God that I do have the habit of praying to Him not just only in Prayer Meeting, but yet I know such Prayer Meeting allows and tests our faith and love for God. How much are we willing to sacrifice for Him, not about compromising and making us comfortable, but truly sacrifice because of the love that we have. =] Without fail, God spoke to me again. He spoke words of encouragement to build me up and prepare me for a greater journey and blessings ahead of me. =] God says “Complete the race that I have begun in you not with your own strength and power but also often remember to lean and trust in Me!”
I felt Prayer Meeting was like a platform for us to get charged up for the greater journey ahead of us. =] Prayer Meeting has always been the most wonderful time of my life as I learn to cuddle in the presence of my God. Many asked how could I just make it for Prayer Meeting, I guess I have no idea why and how too, just by plain faith and love that I have with that Someone. Love does help to push you onto another level of sacrifice. Thank God.
To sum it all, how do I know I breakthrough? I know it not because I think so or I guess that God is doing a great work, I know it because I see where I was when I came for prayer meeting and where I had gone to after 5 days of prayer meeting. I also saw the different emotions that were brought out after these 5 days and my choices and decisions of every action I am taking. =] I saw a different me, a different view, a different of everything. Most importantly, I know it with the people around me who helped me through.
Praise God and Praise God forever.
4:51:00 PM