Sunday, April 30, 2006

Read it on

There once was a woman who longed to have a flower garden. Each year, she would visit her neighbour who had the most beautiful garden she had ever seen, and he would give her cuttings and seeds for her own garden.

But when she would return home, she would change her mind at the last minute saying, "But my neighbour's garden is so much lovelier than anything I can hope to grow. And he knows so much more about gardening - I could never hope to grow a garden half so lovely as that. Why should I even try?"

One day, her neighbour stopped by her home and saw that she had not one flower growing anywhere around her house

"I've provided you with so much," he said, "and yet you have done nothing at all with what I have given you!"

And so it is with each of us. The Lord gives us talents and expects us to develop them. We cannot judge out worth by comparing ourselves to others, but must bloom and grow the best we can with what we have been given.

To believers of Jesus, have you used what the Lord had given you all these while. All these times, as His faithfulness increase in your life, have you grow to be more like Christ each day? Have you gave the best you can for God? Is not just about God transforming you these days but also more of how God can use you to transform the life of others. Pray that God's hands will never be too short to bless you more today as you promised to give Him the best you can to glorify His name.

To pre-believers, I just want to share that everyone of us is made for a purpose. We are not here because we are "accidents" of our parents' act. Believe we all have great talents in areas of our life. Never admit defeat until you try it yourself. Running the race ahead is tough, yet when you carry a heart of belief that you are here for good, you will realise all that you do is worth it. Not for recognition but for success you'd made it.

Believe that we are all here for a purpose and believe we are all make good. Everyone of us plays a part in everyone's life. So treasure it. :)

10:53:00 PM

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Flash Back

There is so much I just want to say about the changes that had taken place and also taking place even till today. Maybe I should do just a little flash back of life recently.

My latest holidays was burnt by the big event held in school which is the Freshmen Orientation. It was indeed a great success. Hard work really pays off, isn't it? We work hard and smart everyday just to put up a show that last only 3 days. The stages where we struggled were very painful but nonetheless, we braced it on and headed forward to it. It was painful when at the end of the day all you could see was disappointed faces around. Emotions are man's best expressions as well as man's worst interruptions.

However, it's all over. Today as I looked back at the many memories that stored in my small brain, I have nothing much to say than thank you.
Thank you for being so patient with me.
Thank you for allowing me to work my best.
Thank you for standing and enduring my nonsenses.
Thank you for just being the way you are in my life.
Thank you for all your care and concern.
Thank you also for many things I never give thanks for.
Thank you!

Well, however I would like to apologise for the many things that I had done wrong. I am not a perfect leader so I am still growing which means I am still able to make mistakes. :)
Sorry that at many times I am so stubborn.
Sorry that I cant give myself due to tiredness.
Sorry that I cant hear you out when you needed me.
Sorry that at many times I just cant focus.
Sorry if I had hurt you in anyway.
Sorry again for the many things I had done wrong without realising it.
Sorry!

Friends are friends forever indeed. This stage of my life enhance more of Friendship. New Pure Friendship. I'd made many wonderful friends who never fail to support me, who guided and walked through this stage of my life with me. We enjoy, we play, we work, we daze, we love, we dream, we eat, we cry. In simple, in that short span of a month, we did almost everything together. This is the friendship that is beyond words to describe. Thank you EXCOs 2005/06 and OGLs 2006/07. You all had really changes my life as well as my perspective of life. Thank you.

Not forgetting a bunch of people who I would like to thank them. They are my family at home and family in church. They had never failed to encourage me everyday. Knowing I am tired, my parents make home a more cosy place for me to go too every night. Knowing I am tired, they had never failed to pray with me for God's strength to be upon me each and everyday. Thank you that you all had give up on me especially this period where I have so little time with you all. Sorry but this period allows me to see where you all are standing in my life. I would say, "top of my heart". I love you all. Well I learnt that time is precious too. So I promised I will have more time with all of you once I settle down my work in school. :)

*is a guide of what I want to say! will update more with pictures.

love,
daphne

10:16:00 PM

Scattered pieces of life
Unknown mystery of love
Broken words in languages
Shed to the pain of everything
I am a nobody
Growing pessismitc each day
Becoming daring each moment
I am searching for the answers
Spare a thought for me
I am not transparent
Care for me
I need concern too
Please find me back my joy
Away my Brain

12:01:00 AM

Thursday, April 27, 2006

My greatest confide
The history biggest sacrifice
Love beyond actions
Actions more than speeches
I am more than what you think

A small life I can offer
Something tiny which I can give
How insignificant can I be

I found myself important
In the presence of His
Surround by His angels
I am special
I am lovely

Run this race again
Till I am in His arms
Praising and Worshipping

As I am pile up with work
Committing myself into many
I give my Lord my time
Until I hear Him say
Go and do so that my name will be glorified

8:55:00 PM

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Faith like a child

Recalling the very first moment
I took the step of faith
The step to stand
A stand to walk forth

I remembered I fall
Even forgotten who to call
Yet today comes I am standing tall

Is not about where you had fallen short
Nor about what you had not achieve
But more about what had you taken today for tomorrow

Pain and agony
Love and understanding
Joy and peace
Me and you

As it comes to see
What will be, will be
Till I close my eyes
Found myself in the Father's arms

Thanks for making my life complete
For allowing myself to show my faith
Recalling the very FIRST step
To who I am today

11:00:00 PM

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Take time

There is so much I want to say
So much that I cant finished in a day
I pray for a heart of "Come what May"
Please I plead you to stay
For the price to pay

In the wilderness
Where can you find happiness
Your gentlessness
Took away all my pain and sickness

In my own time
I drew your lovely sweet innocent face
Taking hold of your charming smile
Guide me through this time

I hope I am not in love
I don't want to be mislead by emotions
I want to be your friend now
Forever

Pray and pray first till 21 comes

10:16:00 PM

Monday, April 24, 2006

Butterflies in my stomach

Right at that encounter when our eyes crossed
The very moment you changed my life
I felt I may want more

Times when I see you
Were fanastic
Chances where we communicate
Were beyond words
I love to be in your presense

You aren't perfect though
You aren't superb too
Yet you are who you are
Sweet and lovely

7:33:00 PM

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Something you never understand

I wonder how can I comprehend these for so far
Never come across life was such an agony
Till the moment I felt I had completed
You threw the rubbish of your thoughts unto me
You hurt me deep within till I cried out for help

Changes had now become my best friend
Pain had grown to be my beloved
Tears had seen to be me
I had seen to lost everything on earth
How amazing that is

I cast out all in the Name of Jesus
I shout to the King of kings
I teared out like a child again
Over is over
God is my strength for all

Hooray I've made it in Jesus' name
As I stand in the gap to intercede
Bad maybe the day
Strong I'll be is all I have to say

Your words hurts me
It hit me down to the pit of miry
Yet I have to tell you
I don't care cause this is not how the Lord sees me

Do you ever thought of being humble and grow again
Don't use that type of eyes to see me
I dont't deserve these
Surely more than this

You commented on me
What about yourself
Please I pray take a good look at yourself across the mirror

8:29:00 PM

Friday, April 21, 2006

Is more than this

The imperfect world tore her apart
Sins of man had make her lost her heart
Torture the surrounding bring
Gave her a hopeless tomorrow

She is looking for not just a house
Yet a home
Pain from actions that never explain
Disappointed with words that never say
I had lost the battle of myself this day

How much I want to say how I really feel about what is happening to me Prompt me and I will give you something to read.

7:32:00 PM

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Never Satisfied

I cant pleased everyone myself
For I am not God
I cant satified everyone
Because I am not Santa
I cant be depressed
As my days still passed by

Anger hurts people
Lost sadden human
Disappointment forgets joy
Love mislead man

I cant be who you want me to be
For I have my life
I will not be who you want me to be
As life is full of fun
I am who I am
What I had done are not perfect
Accept me then

People cheer on
I am not sad nor disappointed at where I am today
Hold on
Believe the truth will set you free
Trust me for maybe this once
Is indeed a great joy to follow once again

Jesus I thank you
Thank you for such a chance like this
No words can say
Nor actions to describe
How much is your love for me

For my saving my soul
You gave your life

10:00:00 PM

Monday, April 17, 2006

A Hope for Tomorrow

I hope for tomorrow
I give thanks for yesterday
I enjoy today

As the gentle rain melts on me
I felt the tiny power love from God
As the sun always shine
I know Jesus more and more

Nothing can seperate me from my Lord
Nothing can pull me off
Nothing can make me wonders
Nothing can ever let me give up

Even in tears and pain
I will go through with joy
As sufferings arise
I will pull upon it with Christ

Recalling the moments He held me so close
He never let me go
His love never ends
His word never fails

I love you Jesus

10:17:00 PM

Stop asking Why Ask Why Not

I think I would like to share something with all of you that really touches my heart recently. Well, it maybe sound like my life or indeed is my life but would like to share out with all of you.

Many people came to me and ask me questions like why am I not appointed as one of the IC for the next few SIT events. There are also people who come up to me and ask me don't I feel sad when no one recognise me and my work. Well, there are people who come to me and tell me what I should do to fight for my own rights in SIT club. So guess now is the best time for me to explain and tell you why am I not doing what you guys told me to.

Firstly, there is no reason why you all have to feel shocked about me not being an ICs for the next few events because I believe in the Seniors that whatever they do, they do it for a reason, for a purpose. It may not be something we can come in terms with, but surely they know best for us. Allow those who were appointed to rise up and show their indepth potential, believe in them and summit to them. No one is a great leader unless he/she is a faithful follower.

Secondly, regarding my recognition in SIT club for the Freshmen Orientation 2006/07. I guess I don't need the whole world to know what I had done for my department. Many eyes out there can see. For something, I want to make it clear again. I had NEVER work alone in my department ever or at any other point of time. I had a group of OGLs with me. Stop assuming and thinking that I was always the one doing all and not splitting it up with others. They get their share of work, I promised. Since it's over, I think I should not bring it up any higher.

Thirdly, I believe there's no need for me to fight for the position for those coming events. Is well said by one senior that is really more of your attitude than your position. So what's the point of you getting to be an IC yet there's no commitments and good attitudes toward the job given, right? I rather be the one who work my best out in the place where I am and give it my best shot once and for all. Life greatest enemy is not trying your best when given the chance. Just want to conclude that only can a man/woman faithful to little, will he/she be able to be faithful to plenty.

Lastly, I would just like to share the real story where I learnt my lesson of asking why not instead of bugging on WHYs! As God had planned, one fine day He asked Jesus, "Are you willing to go to the earth as a human and die for them in a very terrible and painful ways?" Jesus answered, "Why not?" As Jesus knew His Father loves the World so much and He loves His Father, He is willing to lay down His life and obey Him. Jesus did not ask why. He did not question His Father too. He had taught me a lesson here. He obeyed and followed the authority and great things were done through Him ever since then.

So my challenge to all of you is stop asking why things had not gone the way you want it to be. Ask why not that this had happened. Trust in the authority that they had seen much more than us, so surely they are there to see us succeed and not fail. If only you open your heart to believe them again and not to doubt and ask why not. Give others a chance, cause as you give others the opportunity, your locked doors will be knocked open soon. Be patient and wait.

7:25:00 PM

Sunday, April 16, 2006

A time of reflection

Time flies really fast, isn't it. It was just like yesterday when I first step my foot to NYP. Now I had become an OGL to lead the new batch of freshmen.. I still remember I was almost late for the Orientation, then I took a cab down to NYP. Imagine first day of school you took a cab down. What a bad start!

I was so lost and quiet on the first day, cause I wasn't feeling well that very day and that campus tour was a killer to me then. Climbing up and down as if we were playing some hide and sick. Well day 1 come and day 1 has just stored to my memories. Orientation was not vivid to me because it was just the bridge where the OGLs helped us to familarise with the school. Thanks to them though and my lovely class to appoint me as the class rep. School has always been great for Gentries though there are many ups and downs along the way, but I am proud to present my class who will brace it through no matter what. Sem 1 came and disappearred. This class is superb okay. Believe me, there will be no better class than MI0515 in NYP. Love them to bits. Sem 2 flew past us without giving a notice.

Had been to campUp, campEagle and going the proposal stage for Freshmen Orientation. I had gone to dialogue session as well. In this short span of a year, I had really grown a lot, especially working with people. I thank everyone of you in small and big ways for bring me forward to where I am today. I know at many times I failed but I still appreciated you all for being just who you really are. Thanks..

Today is a new start, because the Lord I believe had resurrected after His death 2000 years ago. As I grow and renew all unto Him again, I rededicate myself for a new height in Christ this new year. I really want to thank Auntie Phemie and Uncle James for the consistent and patience on me. They had never failed me to lift me up in the Lord. There are these 2 people I want to specially thank them. I may not play a super duper important role in their life, but they played an ultimate role in my life. They never failed to care and share, they had never failed to love. They are none other than TomSum.

Now let me just head forward for what the Lord had prepared. This year, I want to grow stronger in the Lord that each and every step, is going to be Him that I am taking. I behold the truth of Christ in my life now and always.

To the one who I had crush on, you have yet to know who you are. I will not spill it out cause I know is still not the time yet. I promised with God that till the right time will I share with you. People out there, don't bother to ask me, cause I won't answer you. Just pray with me.

thank u

9:32:00 PM

No better words to describe

I am so glad today. Learnt so much recently that I guess is the Lord's favour on me. I had learnt to accept people for who they are and also to love people whom I once dislike. It sounds so wrong, it sounds not right but Christ make it possible for me to be a new vessels for Him to show the rest the beauty of Him.

Given the chance to work with people is much more a greater feelings from God where no textbooks can teach. Amazingly, I had brought myself through. Someone who questioned a lot? hmm, I guess this part of me wont really change cause I don't like to follow BLINDLY. I mean I want to know the direction we are heading so that I am not walking aimlessly.

I am so proud of myself that I had come to a fact that RANKS do not matter anymore to me, as I had always love to see capable people rise up to leaders for tomorrow. Satisfied that I am surrounded by able leaders. Proud of you guys in SIT club.

I am so happy today not just because I went to CHC but one of my them accepted or should I say rededicate her life back to God. The drama was great and it really touches me about how God had really been through to bring a new me here today. So much of Love and gratitude I want to give to Him. The strips unto His body, the blood that shed, the pain that are unbearable. Amazingly how Christ did it all.

Believe and faith man. Take it and hold it that what Jesus had done is for me and you.

*the Lord prompted me again. "anthem of praise". Sing, sing it unto Him.

My beloved song that always make me teared

VERSE 1:
Before the world began, you were on his mind
And every tear you've cried is precious in his eyes
Because of His great love, He gave His only Son
And everything was done so you would come

VERSE 2:
Nothing you can do can make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Can make Him close the door
Because of His great love, He gave His only Son
And everything was done so you would come

CHORUS:
Come to the Father though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives He will take them all
The power of the Word, the power of His Love
And everything was done so you would come

VERSE 2

CHORUS

12:39:00 AM

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Embracing myself up with the unseen strength

People came and asked,"Am I alright?"
Well, I just have a thought to ask, how will you feel if what I am going through now is what you had gone through.? I mean unless you are where I am, you never never know how I feel. A great counsellor is not just being able to talk senses through the brain but work through with actions. What's worst is that you make me feel much terrible upon asking how I am. Argh I have no idea and no more words to just speak up.

Good Friday has always been a day I never fail to give thanks. God has been so wonderful to His people. Today, this question prompted me, "Will you scarifice your beloved one for people whom you had no idea who are they?" I felt myself struggling and trying to answer this question. Power of this is that God had shown it through His Son, Jesus Christ.

As you set yourself aside for Him, He will make you new today. Knowing is not an easy step for many to take to just accept Him as your Saviour and Lord. Bear it in mind, Christianity is not about Religion is about Relationship with the Lord. So is merely about trust and faith you have in an unseen God than to worry about the problems you will face when you accept Jesus in your life.

Ever want to describe your life as the dark sky?
Ever wish that your life is full of stars?
Ever hope that life is all about understanding?
Ever persue a life that you want?

How tough can all these be fulfill?

Jesus said, "He knows all our feelings!"
Jesus showed sky full of bright shinning stars.
Jesus answered a complicated life.
Jesus gave His life to give you a life that you want.

How glad can that be. How amazing will it happened that Jesus my King would die for me. No words can show the real meaning of LOVE.

Today, 2000 years ago. It all happened.
Thank you God for Good Friday.

*will update more soon..

12:37:00 AM

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Do spare a thought for a girl like me

Coming to the end of the Orientations. I am glad and proud to say that I had really given my very best in all that I do. I had no regrets though at many times I fail but each and everytime I fall, I try my best to get up quick. Life is never the same again, having a great chance to work with people whom I like and dislike. I had really learnt to see beyond what each one of us is capable of. Surely I will bring this upon to my class and be a better class representatives from year 2 onwards.

This week I had learnt not to compare. Surely there is someone out there better than the other but what's going to be your reactions? To be jealous over it or to try your best and work your best out? Is easy to say though, cause as you are the better one, you kind of avoid the lousy ones and while you are the lousy ones, you felt there's no way you can get up. Yet life is not like that. Is really more about how you see yourself than how others look at you.

Yet having said all these, I almost broke down and cry today. We had our SIT meeting today at 10am. It was the so called release of which events we are posted to. Guess what? My name is not mentioned at any events. Seriously I have nothing to say because the pain was much more than words can describe. The seniors were not even sure of the people who are coming back to SIT club to serve. I was merely disappointed because I was thrown to somewhere without much considerations from them. It hurts so badly. I would say that is more than just being able to summit again. I have no words to say.. Well I don't blame the seniors as the time given to then were short.

I am proud of myself though. I move on in life though. I had really learn hard that maybe ranks seriously doesnt matter to me anymore as it doesnt belong to me anyway. To me I guess I will be more than happy being able to work alongside with people around me than to get the fame and the glory.

Slience maybe the best gift from Heaven.
I prayed silently inside of me.
As my heart cries out I know God hug me telling me I will go through with you.

Thanks people who always stand by me. Guess you are the best gifts God had given me in the SIT club. Hold on by faith and work hard on the events.

9:49:00 PM

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Everything has an end

Have you ever thought that going through this life is so terrible that you want to give it up? Or have you ever experience life so fun that you don't want it to end. Yethappily and sadly everything has to come to an end.

Life has been hectic for me recently as I am involve in the Freshmen Orientation for my school, Information Technology. The time we spent as a time was memorable, the rubbish we wet through together was unmeasurable. Sometimes we grumbled and we complained. We cried and we laughed together. We eat and we cheer together. In simple everything was done together in Block L level 5 and 6.

From Camp Eagle to proposal stage. It was the toughest time to go through, well the friends you know had became "monsters". (seniors i mean. *grin) After proposal stage was some free time here and there for the finale and the rest of the team to help them in their props making. How united can we be and how can it be. When all hands just played a part in all that's needed to be done. Terrible week soon came where we had our trial runs. It was really mentally challenged for many of us. Guess what. We all go through that.

The days where we were all waiting for had arived. Orientation. First day was really hectic cause you have to play so manu roles to the freshmen. It was not easy yet is was a nice experience. I am sorry to MI0605, that I can't spend much time with you all as on the first day, there were many "lost sheep" whose names where not found in the namelist of the various diploma. I/We did expect that, but the number was so big. Imagine I had to write out around 200++ names.

I joined the class soon after. When it was the time when they played games. I tried to bond them together but it was really tough. Nobody wants to talk. Then i cant help but to really tried making some senses to their mind. Guess what; It works. Mouths and hands start to move and I am so proud to say in 16 minutes they came out with a nice cheer. Love them so much.

Second day was a long Mathematics lessons for them by which we don't have time for them. After which I want to spend sometime with my Freshie's class again, yet I can't. Cause there is a big hooha in the goodie bags. By the time I am done with it, they are all gone by home. :(

Third day came. Last day of the Orientation. We were all mentally and physically excited cause we all believe that there will be loud bang to the end of the Orientation. How awesome can it be. We end of with a much more than a loud bang, we had tears of joy, love of hug and peace of joy with lots of memories stored. Wow, what mroe can I ask.

That's what I mean by every good thing will have to come to an end. I love you OGLs cause everyone of us play a part in this Orientation, without you nothing can be done, so please don't blame yourself how bad you had done for the past 3 days, look at how much you had changed your freshies. Great job people.

So does bad things. My parents have been talking to each other now. I am really happy for them. No matter what, I will still love them.

Thank you people for making a difference in my life. Thanks

7:36:00 PM

Monday, April 03, 2006

Reflections

Upon my previous entry, do you think I was too harsh or even too pessimistic? I have no idea cause I cant bring myself to the so many things that happen around me. Like I had asked, does all things happened for a purpose? I, myself agreed that all good things happened for a reason, but what about bad stuffs? Recently and I believe God will teach me more in this area that He will change the worst story to be good. I witheld it by faith.

Journey ahead of me is tough and is not the same anymore. Yet I will still trust in the Lord that my life will be curve perfectly for His glory. Upcoming event, SIT orientation, the trials were chaotic but I know as Christians gather, the Lord will do miracles. I really thank God that there are so many Christian in our midest who really want to be used by God to impact others. Let us continue to be the light that will shine for Christ even in this Orientation.

With regards to my family matters..hmmm.. God is still in control, but cold war is still yet to end. :)

Continue to love,
Daphne

7:54:00 PM

Saturday, April 01, 2006

....Entry you will not want to read for sure....

Never felt these ways ever
Never was I so pessimistic
Never

How many times has my heart cry out because of the current event? Do you know how I ever feel when I was told I am in the department I am in now? Do you know that I couldn’t bring myself to face the fact of why I am there? I know I am lousy, so why not kick me out. I am a lousy leader. Crying my heart out!
I try to but myself there cause God gave me a peace that He is teaching me to be faithful in little and surely the day will come when He blessed me with plenty. I faced it cause I know there is no alternatives for me to choose. Of course I sucked up to the people in there. What did I get at the end of the days, merely just “scolding” from the old peeps. Old folks stop thinking that I am running this race alone, doing everything myself can, cause what you see is not what is really happening. Seriously I had enough, cause all that I do never seemed to please you. You never encourage me and well all you know is, “Daphne where is your others teammates” or “I am pissed off with what you are giving me”. Hey think how I feel if I were to tell you these when you are doing your work.
Daphne is a lousy leader so please do not keep it to yourself, just come up to me and tell me than to show me that you are never pleased with my works.

I look myself in the mirror
I saw tears of fears
I found how ugly I am looking now
I realized how painful I had dragged my life this far

So much of what I want
So hard to please the world
How I fought with the sun

No words to say
Nobody can seize my day

Daphne is down

Some people just wish to have their parents beside them even if that’s only the presence of the parents. Contrary I want the opposite. Parents are on the edge of quarreling again due to some STUPID REASONS. I really hurt me deep down. Imagine in a small house of mine, they can don’t talk to each other. One leaves home early and back early while the other, the opposite. Dad’s birthday today, yet I am home all alone with the computer, while mum is out with her friends and dad out to work. What a 40th birthday for my dad! How long more do the both of you want to have COLD WAR till?
Dad and mum I am tired. After school, I come home, yet this is what I get. In school, I have to face those people and at home I have to face these rubbish. I am sorry if I had not spared a thought you all, coming home real late and leaving home early. I am sorry but I just want to do something in my teens and really enjoy my Polytechnic life. All that I ask now, will the both of you forgive each other and talk to one another?

Am I really such a big failure?
So many questions yet no answers!
Everthing is changing. Is it for the better or for the worst? Tell me