Sunday, October 26, 2003
I have been working since Friday.. Is kind of fun working there.. I am working in the Star Factory at Sun Plaza.. Do visit me, but if you were to visit me, please sms me first because i am not wokring everyday everytime...
Getting myself busy is the best way to forget the hurt that people implemented to me.. Though time needs to prove that i will forget him and the hurt he gave, but i am to keep myself occupy first for this time that he isn't around..
He had told me so many lies that i didn't know until the very day that we were so called Friends.. I was hurt by him so much that i don't know how to continue because he is the only boy so far that i truly loved.. I have no idea what to do after the hurt which occurs four days ago..
Anyway, is a long story of what had happened to me.. To long to share.. But anyway, i thank those people that are by my side when when i am giving you people the coldest shoulder... Thank you..
For the time being that he isn't around, is a good time of reflection of what i want.. Of course i hope that he would treasure and realised the moments that i have gave.. The things that i never realised i will do, especially the stubborness that i owned.. But anyway, even when he is back from Holland, even when things can't be solve between us, i will still remmeber the hurt that he created, the tears that i shed for him, the heart that was broken by him.. I am willing to forgive and take back all this moments and allowed only myself to be hurt and you just go whereever you want.. I am willing to allow you to be my friend..
11:19:00 AM
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Today, was the offical day that i am free from every form of communication with you.. You and I are over.. My heart had already die for you from the everyday that i realised all that you know how to do was to avoid.. I had enough of you, your craps and story that fake me through and how thoughtful i am to believe you.. Your confusion of love had become hurt in my heart.. But i never ever tell you how i felt, all you do was to tell others about your confusion.. The hurt that you bring had already filled all of me.. I can't stand it anymore, i am human too, i have feelings too. Whatever you want to do, go ahead for all you do, is none of my problems..
You will search for your own world and i will search for mine.. I believe i can stand firm without you and your love, though love maybe the basic requirement for everyday life..I am born not to be love by people so i have to let fate decide..I had enough and now i really believing myself is not wrong.. NO one can be trusted on earth..
Friends, I am sorry for all that i am doing.. Just leave me alone for i am not worthy of your love and care.. Enough is enough.. Me want to be alone in the wide wide world..Sorry..
Regards to you, the boy that hurt me so muh, i will never ever forgive you.. Never will i, and we aren't friends from the every minute now till the rest of our life..I am going to search for life, the meaning of this life and what's love.. Why boys are so bad that they can hurt girls..I had enough.. Now you is you, and me is me..
4:51:00 PM
Monday, October 20, 2003
I really don't know anything about you anymore.. I reaslly had enough of you and your craps.. Please stop lying to me can.. I had enough of it.. You told me, you won't hurt me anymore, but once after once, history repeat itself.. You said let's be friends and i accepted.. I give in to you, but yet we don't even talk.. What are we.. What you want.. i really had enough of you and your craps.. Leave me alone if you simply don't want me.. Stop loving you, will come one day.. Just leave me alone.. I had enough all your all stupid craps that brought me all over the place.. I really had enough.. Stop allowing me to let my tears flow out.. Leave me alone.. Why don't we remain as enemy, isn't it better...
7:31:00 PM
Though today, i may be look good on the physical appearance but i am still hurt in the heart.. I know what i should do and what i shouldn't.. Lessons for today was kind of slack as no teachers were really teaching..As for the last four lessons of the day was just watching "Lord of the Ring".. My school day end just like this..
I don't know what i am going through recently.. I don't know.. I am sick and tired of everything that i found in this world.. The friends, my family, and the most recent one, LOVE.. I am tired, and i had enough.. Of all the hurts that you people give.. On your mouth, how nice you told me, but deep inside your heart you people can't even be bothered.. Leave me alone, if you really don't want me.. I believe i can survive without you guys..
Love, this first time, and i think i am simply just so afraid to know others.. I had enough hurt from the first and if anyone were to hurt me again, i would rather hurt myself than people to hurt me.. Is so difficult to kind someone i love, and it will never be easy for me to forget someone i love.. I will hang on their for the time being, but i really had enough of your craps and story and fake me through.. You know my weakness, but i don't.. So maybe.... (i don't know lah, maybe you should tell me what you want me to know..)
3:03:00 PM
Saturday, October 18, 2003
Today, i have such a weird morning waking up with sweats all over me.. I felt so hot, maybe because of the high temperature that was with me yesterday.. I woke with fear too, having such a weird dreams last night.. But anyway, the next thing i realised was i was infront of my computer surfing the net..
Around 11am, i went to bath and prepare myself for i am going out later with some of my friends to realise some stress that i faced.. Like always, i leave my home 15 minutes before the time we meet.. Jeslyn and i was early and realised everyone was late.. The latest to arrive was Raymond and Nicole..
Anyway, we headed for our lunch at the coffeeshop nearby.. We sit for around an hour, chit-chating and of course eating too.. Jokes and laughters around our table.. Fun and joy began here i believe....
Actually our aim for today was to take neo-print and look around to see nice prom night clothes.. We headed to Bugis first.. We found that the Trump card that we wanted to take was spoiled, but we can't waste our time of travelling there only, so Jasmine, Rainnie, Jeslyn and myself took neo-print but is stickers...
Then we headed off to Suntec.. Wow, is so far.. The walking distance already made us half died.. But anyway, we found the place where we could take the Trump card but thank God is spoilt too.. Haha.. Walking fo rso long yet it turns out to be a negative response.. But then due to our tiredness, we sat down and have a dessert, the taste was fanastic..
Next, i found we have landed on Esplande to view the sea... Is kind of stupid but is a good way of relaxing.. We sat for not a long time but is kind of a relaxing and cooling place for me to relax and to reflect what i have done in this year.. Nevertheless, when problems seems to bottled you, you just wished someone to share but sad to say, i have yet to find one.. So at times
I'll just felt so down caused i felt as though i can't hold it anymore le.. But anyway, we headed to another place from there..
There we found ourselves in Causeway Point.. Finally we can take photos.. Is kind of funny when you have the chance to view the photos and the stickers that we took.. But is worth it, as best friends are always found in your memory.. So i believe i'll keep it for life long, and this memory and the events that took part today, i believe it will be found in my memory card..
But anyway, thanks everyone for sharing your day with me.. Without you, this day will never be fun..Take care and God bless in the upcoming week..
8:42:00 PM
Friday, October 17, 2003
Finally i am back to this blog again, to manage to start and write what' happening in me.. Is kind of weird for me to start from nowhere but i should firstly thank
Jeremey for helping me to make this blog a successful one.. Thanks..
Today was the 2nd Graduation Ceremony for my school.. It was a rather interesting yet boring ceremony compared ti the one last year where my pioneer sisters and brothers of Orchid Park had.. But nevertheless, this year was also a memorable one for me and my friends..
After everything ended, i managed to get some of the teachers' and my friends' autograph... Is kind of funny when you wrote what they have stored for you.. How you change and made this teacher life a better and cheerful one.. Teachers' played an important part so are friends.. They may just come in and out of your life, but true enough footprints are all they have leave behind and never be taken away..
All the best to the Secondary four express and five normal pupils in their upcoming 'O' levels.. You guys have tried so hard along the years in OPSS, the motto of our school had made you people where you are.. So carry on the last battle before you leave this beautiful school of yours.. Keep praying and have faith in God that He will bring you out of the tunnel and see the light.. Don't fear whatever you faced, try your best and leave everything to the Holy One..
Take care of yourself and all the trials that you are going to face.. We may go our seperate ways own, but we are fate to be friends and we will be friends forever.. With love, take care.. And a sincere prayer will be prayed for you everyday..
7:46:00 PM
