Friday, November 24, 2006
By the power of Love
1:16:00 PM
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I had just walked through the darkest journey of my life and I am OUT of it. I am leading a joyful (read JOYFUL not happy, Jie said before, happy is a feeling that WON’T last, joy is in the heart, once you know is there, is there!) life full of excitement and grace for the Lord to do His work in me, through me and with me. For those who don’t know (I am not going to share again), I was pretty down some days back due to some problems faced in which I felt so helpless on. I almost run away from everything I was holding with my hands. GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME and from His Word, He said, “He will NEVER leave you NOR forsake you.” (Leave the sad stuff aside alright)
Since Sunday, after my Church Service, I felt so refreshed and recharged once again for the Lord. The Word that was delivered by the Pastor really stirs up my heart. Why do I have to feel this way and react with the feelings I am feeling. I have the control over my own emotions and I should always react the way Jesus had reacted. I know Jesus had gone through all that I have had been through. I just need to do a little bit more work by searching the Bible on how my Lord Jesus reacted to that problem.
I just want to take this time to thank all these special people who walk with me and care for me through this period of time.
Let me begins with my every own mentor, Auntie Phemie. I ought to thank you every single day of my life, knowing you pray for me and watch me grow each time we meet. There will be no better word to describe the love you had poured out to my life because you have out-give more than I can imagine. Seriously, I am lost of words towards the gratitude I needed to offer. Maybe the least I can do now is to really be rooted with the Word of God and truly be transform by Him to be the girl/woman He desires me to be. Auntie Phemie, I really thank you for everything that you had given me.
Secondly is to my beloved Kor Tommy and Jie Sharon. Both of you had showed me the power of love that OVERCOMES EVERYTHING. I had literally been standing beside you two, watching the careful steps you ought to take and each step will bring glory, honor to God and your faith in trusting 100% to Him and Him alone. God has indeed lavish more than just love in the both of you. I can only silently give thanks and stand in awe. Salute to the both of you. J
Coming up next is to my “all-time” favorite “uncle”. Though I had yet to know you every well but through this short period of time that we knew each other, you allow me to think and reflect not just on the situation but to also give thanks for all that come with the problems. Thank you for sharing your life (journey) with me, though I may not had really expressed my thankfulness to you, I do hope that deep down within you; you will understand I am not a girl full of words so for once let me say thank you Uncle Adrian for filling up the emptiness that had run dry.
7 years of friendship and I am still counting on, Rachel, Daryl and Michelle. All of you had really walked with me through every single journey of my life, in good times where we joke and we laugh, in tough time, we tie to each other and walk. These special moments are recorded in my heart and it will be brought with me till forever. I thank you for being who you really are before me and had taught me to live a life full of purpose by God. Thank you once again, my 3 dearest buddies.
I had one more special person to thank, but he is someone I can’t mention who. Nonetheless, I still want to thank you for your care and concern. I really appreciate you spending your night messaging me or even call me. There will be no better actions that to be there to stand beside me, I thank you.
Lastly is to my faithful and awesome God. You had been always there, never fail me even at times when I turn away with my lack of understanding of why things ought to go the way I don’t wish it had. Jesus, You had given me this chance to live again and I want to live it to the fullest for You, hence Lord, I want to serve You wholeheartedly.
All of you are surely the reason of why I am putting all my life to serve the Lord and impact the younger ones. (Mind you, problems are still there, but I know if my Lord is for me then who can be against me. I’ve got a peace in me that allow me to worry NOTHING.)
These young ones are surely the reasons why I am serving and serving at any cost for my God.
His name is Adrian Saw. He is my favourite in 611. (no favourtism)
That's me and Adrian. Look at his blur look; so cute lor..
This boy had taught me to share whatever I have just to see the smile on that someone's else face. He is only 5 years old and he knows the gift of sharing.
His smiles are what I needed for a stressful day.
His parents had showed the great and amazing love that inspired me to love more.
Thank you everyone.
8:43:00 PM
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
29 October to 2 November 2006
Those days had been marked as the worst days of my life. It was the most painful and toughest moments to go through with no strength to sit down, stand up, read the bible or even chew something with my mouth. I could just lie down and shut myself from this world of ugliness. I did not think about what will even happen the next moment or what I should do the next day. I just sleep through the days as if tomorrow will be the day I am in Heaven.
As my physically body recovers slightly on 3 November, I took out the bible and read; it was as if I open a book of treasure. As I read Psalm 1, God impressed in my heart the blessings I will received living according to His will and direction.
Verse 1a: BLESSED is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked (NIV)
: Oh, the JOY of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked (NLT)
Verse 6a: For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous (NIV)
: For the Lord watches over the path of the godly (NLT)
It caught my attention of what the Lord is doing with the lives that surrender to Him. That very night, I prayed the Lord’s Prayer once again asking and telling Jesus, I am nothing without Him and I can do nothing without Him. It was really a turning point of my life. I felt so new and refreshed, charged and ready to do anything at any cost to proclaim my Jesus is real and His name shall reign forever.
I woke up very early that Saturday morning to pray and read the bible. It was such a nice feeling to start the day by asking the Lord to bless the day and programs ahead. It was one of the best mornings not rushing to get my morning routines done but rather looking and enjoying my very move with God just by my side. It was so “shiok” a feeling to adopt, but it was tough to wake up slightly earlier to just seek the Lord. Yet I remembered I told the Lord that I will do anything at any cost for Him.
4 November to 13 November 2006
After 19 years on earth, after 5 years of knowing the Lord; these 9 days have had also been remembered as the best days. I woke up every morning with the strength of the Lord and found that His love, grace, mercy are new very morning. Each morning a Psalm makes me lingered in the presence of God throughout the day and each Psalm gives me more insight of how my God loves me. Trials and the negative world did slap me to think like the world does, but I know that God does not wants me to think the way that will pull me down and make me sad. So every moment when the Satan took me away from the goodness of God, my spirit man is sensitive to pull me back to reality with God. I was happy throughout the 9 days, because nothing can steal me away from God. His joy and peace are not what mere man can describe or any word to explain.
14 November 2006
A day of horror came banging before me, I was push back and I fell. I fall to the reality world that no one actually cares about my existence. The thoughts of being happy and be the light that shines for Christ showed me that no one was there to walk with me. I was just like a transparent glass towards everyone. It makes me wonder and ponder that only when my world is in darkness then people will have their concern over me. Where are my friends who can share my joy? I really think and I ask, “Who are actually my “friends” who will walk with me in times of troubles and in time of joy?” Someone welcomed me to the reality world in the period of darkness.
I really pray earnestly that the Lord see how weak I am in the reality and He will give me the courage to just “Cast all my anxiety, knowing He cares for me” (1 Peter 5:7) The journey ahead is tough especially with the Satan trying to kill, steal and destroy any plans I have for the Lord. I still seek the Lord every morning with a Psalm to continue my day and learning to just think the way God thinks and not the world thinks.
I just want to thank you for being listening to my grumble complains and sharing with me what you have had gone through as well. Thank you.
11:56:00 AM
Friday, November 10, 2006
You may not know me but I know EVERYTHING about you. I love you and I have called you by name. I know when you will sit down and when you will rise up. I am familiar with all your ways. For you are fearfully and wonderfully made in My image; in Me you live and move and have your being. You did not choose Me but I chose you, for you are precious and honored in My sight and I love you. I have loved you with an everlasting love and will continue to pour out my constant love to you. I will never leave you nor forsake you for I have written your name in the palm of my hands. For I, the Lord your God, am holding you by the right hand. My dear, I will offer you more than what anyone could give, for it is my desire to lavish my love on you always. Do not be afraid for I have had redeemed you. I am your provider and I will meet all your needs, so be sure that I am with you till the very end of the world. Do not let your heart be troubled; trust in me. For your troubles will not overwhelm you. The hard trials that come will not hurt you. I recalled the days when you were worn out from sobbing and every night you would drench your bed. Your vision is blurred by grief, your eyes are worn out because of all the problems, yet when you are heartbroken; I am close to you for I am your greatest encourager and the Almighty Father who will comfort you.
I will never stop doing good to you. For you are my treasured possession and I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Come, I will lead you into solitude and there I will speak tenderly to your heart. I will be true and faithful and show you the constant love and make you mine forever. One day, I will wipe away all your tears from your eyes and take away all the troubled pain on your heart. Do not worry. I will deepen my promises.
I am here to tell you that I am not counting your sins for Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.
Moreover, I want to show you great and marvelous things. If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Be still to know I am who I am, the Lord God Almighty.
I am waiting for you.
Daddy
11:53:00 PM
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
It is almost 7 years of friendship and I thank God for this. This is my best friend FOREVER.
She was there to support me through the trouble times.
She was the "cushion" for me to cry on in painful moments.
She was there to just be my friend forever.
She was there when I don't know how to count the blessings God had given me.
She was there to cry with me.
She was there to take a picture and smile with me.
She was there to laugh through the worst day with me.
She was there to "sabo" and befriend me.
She was there for me to make fun.
She was there to make me laugh.
She was there to make me wonder the impossible.
She was there to make me realised the possible.
She was there to fight for me through different situations.
Girl, now is my turn and my promise for you is that our friendship will always be that strong no matter how storms and waves can hit us from right, left, front or back. Let all of it test us for I know we will still love each other no matter what. This time round, let me be where you needed me most and be that pillar of support through. Let me be what you have always been to me. My Friend forever, I love you.
7:32:00 PM
Saturday, November 04, 2006
I may say the wrong thing
I may had done something wrong
I may hurt you all
But remember I am human-prone to mistakes
No words can describe your actions
No words can express how hurt I feel
No words can replaced what was said
No words can take over
Is time to let go
Is time to let God
Is time to surrender
Is time to say, "Lord, take over."
Letting you go maybe the toughest action
Letting you go maybe the most painful act
Letting you go maybe a regret
Letting you go maybe foolish
BUT
Letting you go, means: You are free to fly
Letting you go, means: Happiness is in good hands
Letting you go, means: I'll be happy if you are
Letting you go, means: Problems are NO LONGER part of me! (Challenge is)
Tears may flow
Heart may break
Time may not heal
Yet time allows God to reveal
His grace and His mercy
2:46:00 PM
