Monday, November 10, 2003
On 8 october, i have told you that i am giving up.. I am really giving.. I simply had enough of you. The hurts that you gave are enough for me to carry myself to fall everytime new things appeared.. I had enough.. You replied me by saying you want to be my friend, so i am waiting what will you do when you are.. Friend was what you said, but i want to see what you will do..
Life continues for me, with you and without you..After this, i am sorry to those who loves me that i can't give you people a chance.. I am sorry..I don't know what more i will do.. Friends are what we are searching for..
Everythings went back to normal.. I am searching for God and His everlasting words and Kingdom.. I am going to Phiippines for 11 days to serve God.. To see His word touches peoples' heart.. I am looking forward to it.. But people around, please pray for me that God would opens up my parents' heart so that he allow me to go for this trip.. Pray for me too, for i will not fear of the finanical problems.. Thanks everyone..
I am learning and i have grown a lot.. Thanks for people around me, helping and guiding me.. I am no longer living in the past memories, but yet in the presents happy moments... Thanks..
9:35:00 PM
Saturday, November 01, 2003
Lovely holidays is here.
Studying is over, but teachers kept telling us not to play too much but yet study hard because our results isn't that good, and for secondary 4N to 5N is a very great jump, but who will listen, i really don't know.. For me, my holiday are half working and half studying.. I hope i can managed my time well..
Holidays are days that we should relax and think only about what we loves to do, but for me, holidays are just days of my reflection.. All that i can do was to think, think and think... Because darkness was what I see now, people can't be trusted, people leaving and they are those that are close to me, so what will i feel.. Lost in this wide wide world, but who cares about me??
I don't know what to do now, I know I should continue this life, but the hurt that people gave will remained,can't bring me anywhere.. I should move on.. But in two weeks time, when you are back, i hope that you can talk to me, that's all... With a peacrful mind, please talk to me.. I need you to tell me everything.. Please...
For you, I love you:
But if your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it
10:52:00 AM
