It is so much a fact that what you are today was measured by how you were yesterday. I grew up from a very messy family background that love was never the bottom solutions towards resolving problems, rather fights, quarrels, loudness, hatred were what that proves you stronger than the other party. I grew up yearning for love, for someone who will care and show me the whole world and lift me up with his love. I thank God for these people because with them, I am here today. I certainly would like to thank God for choosing me out from the pit of hell, to the promised land of Heaven.
I know I have a very big problem when I come to handle with emotions. I would often be lured into my own feelings and emotions when I know someone treats me very good. Maybe this is the way I seek for attention and when someone can do so, I want to get a little closer. I KNOW THIS IS WRONG. I fell once again before I closed this chapter of my life, but I know I can seek forgiveness in God and be willing to change and repent.
To you:
I am sorry for showing my emotions too early. I know I was pushy and I demand an answer but now all I know, nothing of these will be important anymore. I just hope we will be friends and I pray that you will rise up to occasions when God prompts you to. I wish you every success in everything you do and getting to the main point, if God really set us for His glory, He will put us through again, meantime, let us be friends and siblings in Christ.
To God:
I am really sorry for taking control over what I shouldn’t be doing. I should trust you in providing me with someone of great values and someone who is great for my life. I should be slow in feelings and fast to Your voice and prompting. I know You want me to be wise and to understand why You allow me to walk through such life journey. (Ephesians 5: 15)
To Myself:
I am sorry for making a fool out of myself, but I know there is no wrong in showing affections and love unto someone. I rather give away my pride than to live with regrets. I still love myself no matter what I have had done wrong, and I know God is a forgiving God. In this New Year, it will be a harvest time for myself to be back on fire for God, and until and unless you think I can be your helper, I will never fall into emotions again. May God be my judge this day.
Someday my Prince will come – John 14:3
Daphne Chloe Faith
11:45:00 AM
10:31:00 PM
I woke up from a very disturbed feeling in my soul. I just can’t sleep any longer even when I slept at 3am the night before. I just knew I got to wake up and pray, pray against all malevolence feelings. I knew I have to pray for my family. I don’t want too but then I don’t have a choice when God puts me through such a prayer moment. I stood, intercede and I knew nothing happened before my eyes, but I know something great has happened in the unseen realm; spiritually monarchy.
I felt unjust, irritated and disgust by the feelings I was overwhelmed with. This was not the first incident that had happened. Throughout the past 20 years of my life, I have had encountered such pain over and over again, but each time when I have to go through, I grew stronger out of it. I knew God’s purpose for me in my family, but so many a times, I was caught hold by my own feelings and blamed God for putting me into such situation.
I want to apologize to you. I know you are there to comfort me, and you were there to listen to my whining this morning and yet got a whole stack of rubbish from me, because I chose to let pessimism control me. I am sorry. I know you care; I know you want to see me victoriously be lifted up by God. I am sorry for being harsh and took your love for me for granted. I would also want to thank you with all of myself for being there to stand by me. I know I can’t be a great pal unto your life but I just want to be a friend you always been to me. You opened my eyes to see the insights of a better future in God. I can’t express enough gratitude towards you, nor my heart felt sorry for treating you that way. I just thank God for you in my life.
*Wish you could be there for me always*
Today has marked as the best day for my life because in this year, 2007, I guess because I heard the best sermon. On the last service, I received such good message from the Lord; I just knew I am truly blessed by Him as I close the year. Remember, how you start your new year is how you closed your current year. I thank God I closed it with a bang; reflections time is tomorrow night, with prayer and fasting.
Today’s messaged in CHC by Pastor Tan is about Change. Even “he” thinks that the messaged was planned and preached to me. I believe it is so too.
Change is necessary for growth. For in changes, you found the direction of which you should be taking and certainly the actions that are required to follow through. No one loves changes because so many a times, it is painful but without change, we will always be where we are. You don’t wish to see yourself behaving like a child 50 years down the road. Our lives is one continuous change, change is inevitable.
Have you ever thought what REPENT means? It is form by 2 words. Re and Pent. Re is a prefix which means go back to something and Pent while on the other hand is a description of a highest place, an upper level of thinking and getting in lined with the thoughts of God.
I love what Pastor Tan shared. “Our greatest enemy of change is tradition.” I pondered and wondered how true this is, when we are unwilling to change because we are so into a series of traditions. We are not ready to step out of the comfort zone to a new place where God has set for you and me. You want to see yourself deeply in love with God, be ready, stand up and prepare for changes in life.
I pray that in this New Year, we will be ready to change. Take away your old self, the self of PRIDE that told you, you don’t have to change, the self of FEAR that told you, you can’t succeed if you change, the self of REBELLION that told you, you must go against what’s right, the self of LAZINESS that told you, nothing needed to be done if you are tired and the self of IGNORANCE that told you it is bliss. My dearest ones, unless you stepped out to changes, nothing in our lives will prosper. We can do NOTHING without God’s power and strength.
HINT
ONLY TWO GROUP OF PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE, FOOLS AND DEAD MAN.
FOOLS DON’T CHANGE AND DEAD MAN CAN’T CHANGE.
I just want to end of sharing; “Your ability to lead the change will determine your success in life.” You have the power to lead the change, so please wake up from your dreamland by allowing changes to lead you.
I will update again those changes that I will be marking in this New Year. Meantime, stay tuned and be blessed.
*I wish I could love you and start life differently but unless I am rooted back to God and His word, I won’t fall for you again. My crush for you has come to an end, but I believe our friendship has just began. My covenant will end on 13th September 2008*
Love is to see you happy and I will be; to cheer you on when everyone is against, to give the best of me when I know I will receive nothing. Love is about sacrificing, Love is about waiting. Love.
Love,
Daphne Chloe Faith
12:33:00 AM
10:41:00 AM
11:47:00 PM