Tuesday, April 29, 2008
It is so much a pleasure to study Home Cell Group Leadership. Indeed, no one is born a leader. We may have the gifts to be a leader, but unless and until you untapped those potential within, it will be hidden.
Today in SOT, I learnt about Cell Group Leader; the qualifications of being one. Everything in life rises and falls on LEADERSHIP. How true this sentence holds for itself. It makes me ponder a little while but certainly is a good way to start the topic.
Above all the qualifications that one should have to be a Cell Group Leader, the one that caught my heart most is ATTITUDE. How one should have good attitude. It in our attitudes that reflects how our lives is Today. Attitude is more important than aptitudes and our attitude determines our altitude. No one can rule over your attitude for your attitude is the REAL you. Within the main topic about attitudes, there are sub-4 attitudes that one should have; Humility, Positive Attitude, Enthusiasm and Willingness.
"Two men look out through the same bars; one sees the mud and one the stars."
Pastor Aries shared about his life story and how he actually want to give up along the way before he is where he is today. HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO GIVE UP, especially those moments when he felt so unfair and was angry with God. Not until when God spoke to him, "Aries, what if this is My will for you, are you going to complain? What if this is My will for you, are you going to blame every any people including Me?" His attitude was change that very split second knowing it is not the situation that's pulling him down but his own attitude. Holy Spirit reminded him that even if he is to be the door-keeper in the house of God, he should rejoice and praise God.
I cried when we sang this song at the end of the lesson. A pure heart!
A pure heart, that's what I long for
A heart that follows hard after Thee
A pure heart, that's what I long for
A heart that follows hard after Thee
A heart that hides Your Word
So that sin will not come in
A heart that's undivided
But one You rule and reign
A heart that beats compassion
That pleases You, my Lord
A sweet aroma of worship
That rises to Your throne
I had a chat with someone and I thank him for hearing so much of what I want to say. It was about 2.5hours of conversation but I felt so lifted up when he said and he tried to answer some of my really foolish questions. I really appreciate him and his time, certainly how he opened my eyes to what God may have spoken to me and I am still lost. Thank you for telling me once again that Cell Group Ministry is just the ministry for me this season of my life. I will indeed run this race no matter how tough it is going to be. My first task is to do well the administrative work of every memebers in the Cell Group. Praise the Lord yeah! -hahaha- Even if I am a door keeper in the house of the Lord, I will be HAPPY.
Loving God,
d.
11:01:00 PM
Monday, April 28, 2008
God just work in ways my eyes can't see, move in ways I never understand. I was lost but now I'm found. Many things happened in my life, yet I stood up again and again by the grace of God. I told satan to stand behind me and lift my eyes to Jesus and Jesus alone. I can't believe that satan attacked my family again, but little did he behold that my faith in God is like a mustard seed. It has blossom. He can attack but he can't hurt them. I have been praying and seeking the will of my His and allowing Him to bring me from glory to glory. I just cannot stop loving God everyday of my life. I can't.
SOT was just a place of training, a place of willingness to be transform within. SOT was never a place for just the anointed ones from God. SOT is for everyone. In times to come, completing SOT doesn't make me any "holier"/"greater" than anyone of you. I am just an instrument of God. Give it a try and you will know what SOT can do in your life; I mean what God can do in SOT with your life as you sacrifice.
I had an quality time spent with a man of faith recently. I understood no one is perfect but yet when he shared about his life, I felt so ashamed. God indeed use the lowly to shame the better ones. Through the grace of God we are indeed made perfect. He asked me many questions that made me ponders and certainly would want to know the answers. Well, I will wait.
Serving. No one will understand why I chose Cell Group Ministry upon all the hurts that I faced once. I can run away and serve in Children Ministry with no objections given, but yet I know, God won't be happy. He knows I love children but if I go there, I am just running away from the pain that was laid in my life. I remembered how I prayed that night when I seek to obey God, to serve in the ministry that pleases Him and Him only. Well, I could choose; between Children and Cell Group and God directed the answers right into my heart by saying, "You serve me because you love ME, not because you loved the MINISTRY." Just like the saying goes, 'you remember the blesser not the blessings.'
Today, this song just caught me and renew my strength all over again. I cried as the lyrics touches my heart. I never understand why God loves me so much that He is willing to sacrifice. I am indeed really blessed by Him and I want to grow up loving and serving Him alone. This will be the prayer of my life for this year; to love God and to serve God.
This is such a beautiful children song. Be blessed like how I was blessed.
Dear God,
Thank me for loving me
And giving me Your all
When I grow up
I will still be serving You
I want to know You more
I want to serve You more
I will never forget You Lord
In Jesus' name, Amen
I want to know You Lord
You are a great big God
I am young and do not know a lot
Come and be my all
I want to love You more
Giving You my life and all
You died for me You sacrifice
I won't forget You Lord
I love You Jesus
I grow up knowing You
I love You Jesus
I grow up serving You
I love You Jesus
My life is save by You
I will never forget
Never forget
Grow up loving You
His servant NOW & ALWAYS,
d.
6:55:00 PM
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Thank you SOT 2008 - Team 15.
This is a place that I truly thank God for.
We cry together.
We pray together.
We eat together.
We go out together.
We love God together.
We learn together.
We share with one another.
We are there to lift one another.
We are a family!
"A family always there, to be strong and to lean on"
His servant,
d.
8:31:00 PM
Monday, April 21, 2008
It was as if I was living in a dreamland.
On 12th April, I received the news that my Uncle is in hospital. The next five days were really hectic for me as I run from places to places. Well, apart from being tired, I moved on with the strength from above. I did out of love towards all my family members. Above all, I did these from my late Uncle. It will be a remembrance to me from now on.
Five days later, on a Wednesday morning, we received a phone call from the hospital, telling us to rush down to spend the last few moments with my Uncle. He waited till the whole family before he took his last breathe and last hard count from his heart. He departed from this world on 16th April 2008 at 0918.
During the wake, it was as if he is so near yet so far from us. He was sleeping there. He no longer can smile and joke with us. He can't speak no more. He is nowhere visible. He is gone. I spent four days in the wake near the coffin. I slept very little throughout the wake, for I know there won't be anymore chances, thus I make it precious. This Uncle of mine dotes me a lot when I was young. He would bring me everywhere and anywhere whenever he is free. He would buy me any and everything I want. I grew up being a happy girl.
He left the world without saying his last word. We did not even hear his voice for the very last time before he depart from this world. All of us wish that he will appear in our dream and I thank God, he did appear in my dream and had a chat with me. He held my hands and walked round his coffin once. He stood before me and shared with me those times when I was young, how he dotes me. He told me he was in heaven and the background behind him was the colours of the sky. It was beautiful. He "ascended" slowly up to the sky, and as he does, he said to me, "I left this world peacefully." I woke up in tears but with a great sense of joy. :)
20th April at 1431, his physical body left the world. It hurts really bad to see the huge fire burning. Indescribable. Unbearable. He is GONE. No more!
10 days of gashing wind. It flew by without me realizing. I am lost. I don't know how to feel, what to say. I look alright, but deep within, I don't know anything. First time in my 20 years on earth, losing someone so closed. What does it really means to have someone no longer near you, no longer there for you? Indeed, I don't know. I have been pondering.
Anyway, thanks and many thanks to people who send your deepest regards to me. I truly appreciate it. I know without all your prayers and support, I may have literally collapsed. Thank you so much, N318, N327, SOT2008 - Team 15, and those people who had kept me in prayers. I really am so much blessed by you guys. Not forgetting to thank my God for being so faithful till those moments when I am so faithless. Thank God.
Thank you.
Daphne_Chloe
3:06:00 PM
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Rest In Peace.
Uncle, Rest In Peace.
I bid my last goodbye; calling your name last time @ 0918am on Wednesday 16 April 2008.
You had lived a fruitful life, a life many would remember.
Your smile, your care, your love. It will be with me forever.
I thank you for all the love that was lavished on me since the moment I came.
Thank you.
I remembered how you look at me when and the last moment I had with you.
I thank you for knowing that I was there.
I thank you for hearing me bringing my friends to your ward to pray for you.
I thank you for responding to me.
I thank you.
Rest In Peace.
Mr Ong Wee Cheow
24 November 1966 to 16 April 2008
You will always be remembered.
Your Niece,
Daphne_Chloe (Ah Girl)
7:26:00 PM
It has been 5 days since everything had happened. Coming to the 6th day today, I am literally lost. I am still clinging on to the Hope I have in Christ, but yet my physically body is killing me with the facts every now and then. I am tired; physically, mentally and spiritually I am challenged. I have to wake up at 5plus in the morning everyday, traveling to go and leaving the school complex at 11am to go to NUH till 2pm. I will be heading towards my grandma's place in AMK, before going back to NUH at 5pm again. I will leave hospital at 8pm and will be back at AMK to accompany my granny, will only leave when I know granny is asleep. I would get home at about 11pm everyday, after doing my own work, I got to pray like never before. I will end my day at about 2am. I am really TIRED.
Now you maybe wondering what am I doing at 6.45am when I am supposed to be preparing to go to SOT. I got myself prepared all ready, and a phone call hold me back. "The hospital had called to say he is in a very critical condition, asking us to go down soon."
My heart broke the moment I heard it. I was so lifted up yesterday, because I shifted my faith from what was mentioned to the faith I have in God, and suddenly, reality sink me in AGAIN. I don't know what more to do, how much to ask, than to have God redeem a soul, and release his pain.
I have much to give thanks still. God is still a God who loves and knows me well. May God be my highest glory and praise.
SATAN, STAND BEHIND ME. YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ANY OF MY FAMILY MEMBER'S LIVES. I SHUT YOU OUT, I CAST YOU DOWN, FOR I HAVE A GOD WHO STAYS WITH EVERY FAMILY MEMBER OF MINE. YOU HAVE NO SAY, YOU HAVE NO CONTROL. YOU ARE OUT OF THIS PLACE.
Jehovah Rophe, I need You.
Daphne_Chloe
6:47:00 AM
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Today is the second day of SOT and there are so many things to thank God for in the past two days. I can't deny I am super tired after my Orientation on 7 April 2008. I remembered reaching home that night nearly at 12am. Well, this is a very tiring, yet fruitful orientation because it allows me and I believe everyone in SOT2008 to build this special friendship; a friendship that we bring till eternity.
Just a little introduction of my team. Most of us are from the same zone, Dev's Zone, which means this make us one of the youngest team around, aging from 20 to 23 (not including 3 slightly older friends of ours) I saw potential young men and young women in the team who are willing to take up the call of God and be obedient to do His will. I saw humble hearts who are willing to learn and I saw persevered members who will never give up. All of us come from different background but all of us has the same walk, the walk (steps) unto obedience of not just a say-er but a do-er of the Word. I am really contented to know all of them. I am eager to grow and learn from them as most of them are either CGL or helper in the cell group.
God is working mightily within us, because all of us are hunger for more of Him and less of ourselves. The 2 worships that we had for the past 2 days really touched our souls, to cry out, to laugh, to peace out with God. He ministered through Pastor Derek and many devils were casted out, many were set free. God is indeed awesome.
I experienced the peace of God yesterday as He assured me through the worship. I was a little unease in my heart since I know I was approved to enter SOT. I feared (for what I don't know). Well, God assured me that He will walk with me, He will guide me, He will lead me. Even when it is tough, He is going to be there for me. I know I am in the arms of God through this SOT and everyday of my life. I thank God for the assurance. Today, we were told to just pray and pray during worship. God stood in our presence again. I don't know why, but as I spoke in tongues, continuously for 15 minutes, I have no idea what I am praying for and what I am praying, but I know while praying, I was lead to pray for my family. I just kept praying for my family's peace that even as I took this step to obey God, I want the peace of God to flow in my family too. I want them to experience the type of peace only Jesus can give. I prayed and I got worried as I pray; well I did press in, yet just somehow, the peace of God doesn't seems to satisfy me while I was praying. I found myself a little disturbed when Pastor Derek sang because it seems I have yet seem the breakthrough taking place, but well I thought maybe I will go home and pray for my family, thus. I followed and I stopped praying. As the song ends, Pastor Derek said, I know there are a group of people here, you are worried for your family. God knows you took that step of faith and He wants to assure you, that your family is in good hands. Wow, I literally cried and Pastor asked all those who are burdened, step forward. He laid His hands on me, and there I am on the floor. I can't remember anything much than Psalm 23 :2. I was so peaceful lying on the floor, it felt like those comfortable, greeny grass. I went back to my seat, having that victory in Christ. I am so loved. :) God is simply too good for me.
Even as I write this, I am actually struggling with another issue, which is to serve in which particular ministry! I have my reasons to why I am so indecisive, but God isn't concern about that of the past, He is concern of bringing me to another level of glory and breakthrough with Him. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Serving is indeed about the love I have for God, not on the comfort zone of what I like to do. I love children and I wish to serve there, but I guess, God is pushing me to a better and greater calling. My CGL "challenged" me to join CG (cell group) ministry. Father, let Your will be done in Me according to Your word.
Anyway, I anticipate my classes everyday, even it ends at 4pm for me. The flesh is indeed weak in many times, but yet the heart and the soul is hungry for more than just these. I am really thankful. As I wait upon the Lord, I am trusting God more than I can, believing in God with all that I have. SOT 2008 students are brought from glory to glory everyday, as God pours Himself so free unto us. :)
Pray with me
His servant, NOW & FOREVER.
Daphne_Chloe
8:15:00 PM
Monday, April 07, 2008
Going to SOT is yet the best choice I made in my life, though I know it is going to be tough, it is not going to be easy, but I am ready for the challenge. For God promised me in the first day of the school, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" I am just being pure obedient by following the commands that was laid before me.
God walks the trail with me each day,
He is my Friend, My Guide
However long or steep the road,
He's ever by my side.
He sits with me in evening's hush;
We speak, we laugh, we pray,
And my heart sings a joyful song...
He's never far away.
And through each dark and lonely night,
He's guarding from above.
In perfect peace, I rest secure
In His eternal love.
Love,
d.
11:49:00 PM
Saturday, April 05, 2008
DIRECTIONS TO OUR FATHER'S HOUSE.
Make a Right onto Believeth Blvd. Keep straight and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ. There, you must turn onto the Bridge of Faith, which is over troubled water.
Now when you get off the bridge, make a Right turn and Keep Straight. You are on the King's Highway - Heaven-bound. Keep going for three miles: One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Spirit.
Then take the Grace Blvd exit. From there, make a Right turn on Gospel Lane. Keep Straight and then make another Right on Prayer Road. As you go on your way, Yield Not to the traffic on Temptation Ave. Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END. Pass up Envy Drive, and Hate Avenue. Also, pass Hypocrisy Street, Gossiping Lane, and Backbiting Blvd.
However, you will have to go down Long-suffering Lane, Persecution Blvd. and Trials and Tribulations Ave, but that's all right, because VICTORY Street is straight ahead!
AMEN!
love,
d.
11:24:00 AM
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
How much does "Thank You" means to you today?
Here is just a short story that I am writing which I extracted from the storybook "No wonder they call Him the Savior" by Max Lucado. This is a good book that is worth all your time to read, because I'm so blessed by this little book! The words in it, the story that expressed all; It just allow you to understand why you need a Saviour! Be blessed.
He couldn't have been over six years old. Dirty face, barefooted, torn T-shirt, matted hair. He wasn't too different from the other hundred thousand or so street orphans that roam Rio de Janeiro.
I was walking to get a cup of coffee at a nearby cafe when he came up behind me. With my thoughts somewhere between the task I had just finished and the class I was about to teach, I scarcely felt the tap, tap, tap on my hand. I stopped and turned. Seeing no one, I continued on my way. I'd only taken a few steps, however, I felt another insistent tap, tap, tap. This time I stopped and looked downward. There he stood. His eyes were whiter because of his grubby cheeks and coal-black hair.
"Bread, sir?"
Living in Brazil, one has daily opportunities to buy a candy bar or sandwich for this little outcasts. It's the least one can do. I told him to come with me and we entered the sidewalk cafe. "Coffee for me and something tasty for my little friend." This boy ran to the pastry counter and made his choice. Normally, these youngsters take the food and scamper back into the street without a word. But this little fellow surprised me.
The cafe consisted of a long bar: one end for pastries and the other for coffee. As the boy was making his choice, I went to the other end of the bar and began drinking my coffee. Just as I was getting my derailed train of thought back on track, I saw him again. He was standing in the cafe entrance, on tiptoe, bread in hand, looking in at the people. "What's he doing?" I thought.
Then he saw me and scurried in my direction. He came and stood in front of me about eye-level to my belt buckle. This little Brazilian orphan looked up at the big American missionary, smiled a smile that would have stolen your heart and said, "Obrigado." (Thank you) Then, nervously scratching the back of his ankle with his big toe, he added, "Muito obrigado." (Thank you very much)
All of a sudden, I had a crazy craving to buy him the whole restaurant.
But before I could say anything, he turned and scampered out of the door.
As I write this, I'm still standing at the coffee bar, my coffee is cold, and I'm late for my class. But I still feel the sensation that I felt half an hour ago. And I'm pondering this question : If I am so moved by a street orphan who says thank you for a piece of bread, how much more is God moved when I pause to thank him - really thank him - for saving my soul?
Questions to reflect:
Do we sometimes take our blessings, and particularly our salvations for granted?
When was the last time you truly thank God for saving your soul?
When I came upon this story yesterday, my heart was indeed crying. I recognized how Max Lucado actually felt with someone sincerely thanking you for what you have had done. Just last March, I went for blood donation for the very first time. I was a little fearful of the pain but what pushed me on was the company of friends and the desire to do something new before my 21st birthday. The whole process was remarkable; memorable. I tally with Max' the exact sincerity of thanks that was expressed by the doctor who served me. She said so many thank you that I was almost blown away, and from her eyes, I understood the important of lives. I told myself, I will go for such donation whenever possible.
Recently, as I was preparing myself to go for Bible school, I just felt that I needed an amount of money not because I don't have, but rather it was like a "test" God gave me. He challenged me to trust Him for whatever amount He is setting for me and I did one "stupid" act. I even wrote it on my MSN nick; with my account numbers there. I have no idea what will happen, neither did I plan to see what should/could happen. I just did as I was told.
A phone call came! A friend told me he deposit a small amount into my account. I was shocked. I didn't know how to express myself, and all I could say was thank you. Thank you from my heart. I had got my second blessings before I entered bible school and that's my desired bible. I just can't be anymore contented than these. I'm just thankful!
I was actually asked to pray for sponsorship for my Bible School. I'm praying now. :) *I'm thankful for the ability to serve. (Church & Cell Group)
*I'm thankful for the time spent. (Special ones, you know who you are!)
*I'm thankful for the values imparted. (hmmm)
*I'm thankful for all my friends and family.
*I'm thankful I am here today.
*I'm thankful for the apple strudel too. (You know who you are)
*I'm thankful for the money. (You know who you are)
*I'm thankful for the bible. (You know who you are)
Blessed is he who give than received. The joy of giving. My God is not a stingy God, who told you to give for the rest of your life, He blessed us too. I am saying thank You to Jesus today, by setting my life right for Him in Bible School. I have no idea how to express my life in a better way than giving my time to grow myself in Him. I am thankful for all that I have today. I am really thankful!
Are you?
Blessed is he who gives than receives,
d.
2:02:00 PM
