Sunday, February 15, 2009
CHECK CHECK =]
After a week, is time to do a self-check! *pat on my shoulder! -well done Daphne-
It has been a whole week of Prayer Meeting where I really encountered God in a different way. *promised I will blog about my experiences of this month Morning Prayer Meeting* Well, I guess in life there's a lot of things could be just handled by will. The will in our mind and the will of choice and decision that we are making. =] Many people spoke to me, out of concern and love, *truly appreciated*. I am glad that though I may not share a lot because I just don't want to bring up the past, but God seems to send these people into my live for a great purpose to give me the word in season. -Thank you so much for all your advices and words of encouragement-
I heard of a friend of mine who broke off not too long ago after years of relationship. I choose to believe it hurts both parties to end it there, but I think it will be wise to end now with tears than to live love in hell on earth. Both of them decided to move on. After about 6 months, both parties seems to found themselves with a love bank account of another person growing rapidly, but not to forget the old account that still left some penny of units. =] The gentleman before moving on was still concern of his ex, not because he still holds those love feelings, but truly he wishes the best for her and doesn't wish to hurt in any point of her life. He went that extra miles to check with her friends if she will be just perfect if he is going to have a new girlfriend. (I am not saying that if she is not okay, he won't get into his new love, but what he is doing is simply helping the girl to move on and being a support as a friend even though they aren't couple. (GENTLEMAN, or is that called manhood!)
The girl was pretty certain she was okay and happy to give them her blessings and soon she was attached too. Happy ending isn't it. Both ended the story well, and I seen that true gentleman is still available within us. =] Days passed by, and something happened. The girl THOUGHT she was OKAY, and she believes she is, but somehow; somewhat, something triggered into her heart. She found out that despite she mentioning that she had moved on, her emotions were not. She missed and cared a lot about him still. I guess that's woman, we take slightly longer to heal and recover, because we don't hide, we expressed it all and allow God and time to pull us through. =]
She broke off with her new found because she could feel that it was just a "replacement" for her. Well, it is strongly advise not to get into a relationship soon after break up because some residue is still left behind especially when feelings and love were greatly exchanged. *but I never say it is wrong to move on fast too, is our choice*
Well, with her blessings to him, she still holds on a bit even till today. When I heard of her story, it makes me think; deep thinking. Am I similar to her? I guess I am not as fortunate as she is, but somehow our stories seem familiar, but the outcome is different. I was questioned by my friend, "Have you EMOTIONALLY let go and moved on?" It kept me ponder for a minutes before I even utter my very first word. The first thing that ran through was "I HAVE MOVED ON!" But a while later, I think again and I ask within myself, "HAVE I REALLY MOVE ON; EVERY PART OF MY LIFE, HAVE I MOVED ON?" I can't find myself in any place where I have not moved on! Yes I still think of him but those thoughts don't last for a moment or two. =]
Don't get me wrong, I have not found a new guy to replace those thoughts, nor have I been filled up by those love units surrounding me. It was a choice that I have taken. I came across this saying "The scar will ALWAYS remains but what's great is, it no longer hurts" AMEN! This was part of the journey that I have taken with no regret and now the past is indeed behind me and he has all the best blessings I can ever afford to him.
People I know all of you are concern, but I do hope all of you understand and respect the choice I am taking. I don't need anyone to tell me anything about his well-being (not that I don't care) or "help" me condemn him for moving on so fast. I sincerely beg all of you to just accept the choice I am taking, and respect him for all that he is doing and have taken. Is better to not hold the grudge, leave the burden to Christ to carry for me. =]
*My goal is not to see myself attached again anytime soon, but to enjoy serving the Lord in Children Church and Cell Group. What's great is something can wait; so just wait.! =]
To some people out there:
I am not ready to get attached anytime soon, not because I am not ready, but I think it will just be fair for you and for myself. I want to find back my pace in life to do what I want to do. I am not saying that I am rejecting anyone of you but I just want to share that now is not the time for me to get into any relationship. =] If you guys really have feelings; deep feelings for me, you all will respect me and love me for whatever I am taking. Allow me to get to know more people and enlarge my circle first before I want to zoom down to anyone. Fill my love tank, though I know this is selfish, but I really choose to be selfish than to hurt you and myself in a long run. =]
*PS: I am happy to get to know more guys; many sweet and lovely, handsome and talented ones. Gosh, I don't want to live in the well anymore! I want to grow prettier too.*
love,
daphne
I used to think is good to be attached and Valentine day is sweet and romantic. But this year was really a different Valentine Day when someone expressed his feelings for you. I even make a joke out of it that if you are attached, you may just received a bouquet of roses or even none from your boyfriend, but this year, I received 2 bouquets. *check out my
facebook for the pictures*
7:56:00 PM
