Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I serve a Great, Big Wonderful God
Today is the start of my Mock Cell Group Test. I was indeed really excited and scared though I am just doing Warmth - Testimonies. Many may think or even believe that I have a good command of English but that's beside the point when I am ask to do it for the FIRST time. I was scared as I was afraid that I may not be able to conclude and sum it all up in a right way, but I thank God for helping me. Through my days of staying so close with God, I am and will always be thankful to God for saving me and guiding me. He is indeed a great God to me. As I conclude, I believe I just did the best of what I can. My supervisor for today is none other than my very own Zone Supervisor. He mentioned that I did a good job as many a time, we may give thanks to the wrong person, especially when someone is involved. Our focus to God may shift to man, because we are so thankful of such a friend. Well well, remember friend doesn't come until God knows you needed them in life. Thank God for friends, AMEN.
I know I have NOT been doing very well in life and I know I am PURPOSELY pushing people away from my life, I KNOW AND I KNOW. I want to do it because people are so fake to me, and I realised it doesn't allow me to feel any better anymore when I try to give my best. People took me for granted. I am tired. I know I have gone a way that doesn't please God. I want to come back, but I just can't bring myself to do so anymore. I really want to run; maybe to a place where there is nothing; not even anyone.
"You can run but you can't hide."
This is so TRUE. I tried running, from myself and from people; behaving like someone nobody can even recognize and not even care nor be bothered. I went on a day with my own strength. It was tough yet it was really much more a better feeling than to be trap in between. BUT today was I went to SOT for my test, 3 worship songs almost brought me to tears.
First Song: God of my forever
God of youth I remember
Your call on my life took me o'ver
Your love has seen me through all my days
I stand here by Your grace
On this altar I've written my life
Tells of the story I have with You My Lord
I want the world to know
God of my forever
And forever I'm with You
My life is saved with a price
Your sacrifice redeemed my soul
God of my forever
And forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King
God of my all I've surrendered
My heart finds its rest in Your word
Praises will not be enough to show
How my love for You has grown
Nothing matters when You're here with me
In the end just to hear You said "Well Done"
Bowing before Your throne
Forever and ever
Jesus You alone in glory reign
Forever and ever
With You I walk this narrow way
Second Song : I give You my heart
This is my desire to honor You
Lord with all my heart
I worship You
All there is within me
I give You praise
All that I adore is in You
Lord I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have Your way in me
Third Song : Heart of Worship
When the music fades
All is striped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
And through all these years
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
[White color words expressed it all]
I just can imagine how God spoke to me through songs to make me boldly sing it with CONVICTION in my heart that, that's what He desires from me and what I'm supposed to do. God has always been that close to me and every challenging moment in life, I felt God even closer than before. I'm really sorry Lord for all the things that I have done against You and I am really sorry to all my friends, whom I have hurt and rejected these two days. I am still human with emotions. Would you please forgive me?
Sorry,
d.
8:28:00 PM
