Tuesday, March 25, 2008
This has yet been the best week of this year, 2008! There are so many things that I want to give thanks about. God is indeed faithful even when I am faithless. Easter was a bang for me in my life, having yet another good friend of mine to re-dedicate her life back to God, I am indeed overwhelmed. God has been teaching me to rely on His timing and as I rely, I realized there's a reason behind all His doing, though I may not understand, but I chose to see and believe that all good things happen to those whose eyes are upon God.
For every strips that was given upon Jesus, my heart sank. I can't imagine the physical pain my God, my Love had gone through. How He was nailed upon that cross for me and my sins. How He could have chosen forgiveness when those people were the ones that bring Him to such agony and pain. I just can't explain but to realize I serve a great and LIVING God today. My heart cries out for more of Him. Anyway, God renewed the passion once again, He brought me back to the understanding of why I love Him. I just love Jesus.
A different birthday for a strong and independent girl of mine. I recalled how we grew up together, how closed was I to her and family, taking all her family members as though they are mine. We had gone through tough patches in our friendship but till today, we are still as one. So many things had happened throughout the years, some of which we hope it didn't. It was unbearable for my precious one yet when I saw through her eyes, I know she is so much stronger than I think she was.
We waited for the clock to reach 12am, willing to be there to welcome her birthday with her, yet ironically, I didn't wish her the first moment because I want to be the last. Anyway, while we welcomed the day, she shared so much about her past. Those of which I don't even know, I felt so shameful to be even called her "BaoBei" that when she gone through such "SHIT", I was simply enjoying my secondary school life. I was hidden in the dark. I felt so bad. Yet through her sharing, I felt so proud of her, her courage to share make me realized my girl had grown up. As she shared, my heart cried; the pain in my heart. For a moment, I was taken a step back to understand she is indeed so important to me.
I wished I could cry, but I endured within my heart. The day passed by with something missing. I just could feel it and to even foresee those controlled tears in her eyes. I want to cry too but we endured. It was a joyous birthday, but behind every actions, there are plenty of reasons. I am so honored to have the chance to be there for her at the last hour of her birthday.
The moment we were there at the playground and as she starts to share, tears already filled up my eyes. As she asked me questions of which I have no idea how to answer, I was shaken too. I feel for her, yet I have no idea how much more can I do for her. Well, at least I cry with her. I don't know why she chose me above others to spend the time with her and her beloved one, but I am really thankful she gave me that chance. I miss her beloved one too. We both cried, we both laughed.
Though I can't say anything to fight for my King, He still showed Himself faithful to her. The smile on the clouds, the glow on the moon and the clear blue sky are signs and wonders we believe that her beloved is in Heaven happily with my Lord Jesus. We left the playground being assured and contented and I was the last to wish her Happy Birthday.
BaoBei
My heart hurts so badly upon hearing all that you have had gone through and I wasn't even aware of. I feel so sorry and lousy to be your friend. Beobei, yet through the words that you used by the courage you have, I really admire you. You are simply awesome. I can't stop telling myself you have really grown so much and I am proud of you. I don't know what more to tell you than I am proud of you, I am happy for you. I am in loved with you -muhaha-
I am "xin fu".
Love,
d
1:20:00 PM
