Tuesday, January 08, 2008
I am so lost of words now. I felt really bad having to do such things against you, but aren't we all selfish? I just need a life to live on, not a life to be worried of. I know God gave woman the heart and abilities to do lots more than man when it comes with dealing with problems. I know I can help but yet how much do you know, as much as I wish to see you smile, I am fighting against my own emotions too!
I just saw a way that lead to a dead end. I saw myself getting into something I know I should least thought of! I saw photos that covers the reality. I saw words that lure to fantasy. I saw everything that you may have yet seen. How irony such things can turn out to be. There is no sadness when I am writing these, just a pinch in the heart; is bearable. How much have I give in, I am not interested, because I know I can do more than these, but how much you had poured out disturbs me, because it just show how much you had.
Have you ever wonder where you placed me in your life today?
Do I even stand in your life, or was I really just a passer-by!
Am I really just that someone you will remember when you are bored?
Hey, you know the answers better than I do.
I can't let go of my past too, but there is no choice, and I chose to stand up against all odds and to tell myself there is no point crying over the spilled milk. I can grow to hate them, detest them and tell the whole world everything about them, BUT it didn't bring me any joy to do it, nor any freedom to spell that out. It only shows how shallow I am. I chose the tough path, I chose to forgive them, to bless them and to be their friend again. Well, you think is easy, try it. I am a girl afterall, and having to be treated like an idiot when I see them walked pass me, but at least I know, I will leave the world with no regrets.
The past always haunt us, that's what I have been telling you, but we can choose to allow the scary past to bless us with a right journey in life. Learn from it. Your tomorrow is not determine by how you wake up the next day, but how you choose to look at it when you wake up. -think about it-
I have grown cold. Tired. Withdrawing that hand of mine to clap yours ever again.
Devotion for the day: PROVERBS 12:25
"AN ANXIOUS HEART WEIGHS A MAN DOWN, BUT A KIND WORD CHEERS HIM UP."
I can't believe this, but God is just so real. He gives me that exact word that I should live with for the day, daily. My desire today will be to have that strength to have the kind words out of me to cheer you on in life, though I know I had already sent out one unpleasant message early this morning. Well, take it or leave it, is in your courts today.
A song that speaks of my heart now.
Forever - Westlife
I'll be loving you forever
deep inside my heart you'll leave me never
even if you took my heart and tore it apart
I would love you still, forever
you are the sun you are my life
and your the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep at night
you're always round when I'm in need
when troubles on my mind you put my soul at ease
there is no one in this world, who could love me likeyou do
that is the reasons that I wanna spend forever with you
[chorus]
we`ve had our fun
and we've made mistakes
but who'd have guessed along the road we'd learn to give and take
it's so much more than i could have dreamed, I could have dreamed
cause you make loving you so easy for me
there is no one in this world, who could love me like you do
that is the reason that I wanna spend forever with you
[chorus]
and girl I pray you leave me never
cos this is the world where lovers often go astray
but if we love each other we won't go that way
so put your doubts aside
do what it takes to make it rightcos i love you forever no one can tear us apart.
*a song that speaks so much, yet how irony that is!*
waiting,
daphnechloefaith
1st draft @ 6.30am, editted @ 1230hr
-I cant imagine I waited for a day hoping to see your name appeared on my phone, but it didn't.-
-I cant imagine I missed you so much in just a day.-
-I cant imagine without me taking the steps, nothing could be done-
-I cant imagine-
But now I understand, I was the only one in the whole picture. You were not sharing the same dream like I had! :)
6:33:00 AM
