Season Greetings to all who reads!
A short poem for all my friends!
Dear Friends are hard to find
Dear Friends bring peace of mind
You, my Best Friend are one of a kind
I can’t imagine that’s how I celebrated my Christmas this year. I was home of Christmas Eve, it was suppose to be out to CHC Musical Concert, then due to unforeseen changes, it was cancelled. A group of my friends went drinking but mummy and someone told me that I can’t go, because I am going out early in the morning. Well, it was really early! I thought I can attend the service at 12noon, so I can sleep a little longer but then I changed my plan to attend the one at 9.30am and I am meeting a friend of mine in Bukit Batok at 7.45am. I woke up at 5.30am and I slept at 3am, with many messages at every hour interval! It was really like an experience where I closed my eyes but I wasn’t sleeping at all. It was a very exciting morning for me because I dolled myself up for church. I am seriously excited to go to church pretty, what’s more when I know I am celebrating the birthday of my Lord Jesus Christ, the Savior and the Redeemer of my life.
I met up with my friend and he was LATE. First incident of the day, I have to wait for a guy! I am not saying that I can’t wait, but alright, never mind, because I waited happily and willingly. He had his breakfast while I watch, haha! He drove down to EXPO and when his friend called, he went back to Hougang to fetch his 3 other friends to church! He is really a great pal, and I know why he would do so, the souls for the Lord is so important to him! We went down to fetch them and headed down to EXPO and we reached there at about 9.50am. As much as the service was slightly different from the one I watched on Saturday, I felt so disturbed. I was feeling uncomfortable in my spirit because I was tired, because my friend was tired and my friend’s friend slept while watching the musical. Yet it was in such moments when I felt the Holy Spirit’s voice, STRONGER and CLEARER. As much as I was so distracted, I could absorb the Word of God better. (I am not saying you should do anything like these to get yourself closer to God) Pastor Kong preached 3 main points of what Christmas is about from Luke 2. Christmas is about celebration, is party. Christmas is about salvation. Certainly, Christmas is about reconciliation.
Today, the Holy Spirit prompted me. He gave me a word and a picture for my friend and He showed me by preparing me of what I have to expect in that day. When all you desire to hear was His voice, He will show you, even your next step in that second. I often thought God only give me the ability to tell others about something, but I never expected this Christmas, He showed me He is concern about my life too, my emotions, my feelings. God is love. I was really disappointed but thank God He had notified me beforehand, else I can’t imagine how I will react to situation. I had the time from MRT back home to think and to ponder.
I guess I over-reacted, I guess I had fallen into the fantasy of crushes. I should have just enjoy your friendship and not be moved and lure by my emotions. I really regretted for reacting this way and yet I can’t hold my feelings. I am really sorry for giving you my gloomy, sad face throughout the ride, but I believe you understand the level of disappointment I was poured with just by a sentence of yours, it seems all promises made the night before was gone! I was hurt, my heart broke, not because I have some feelings on you but you can’t even promise a friend of yours! I walked home instead of taking a bus, and then I really could feel myself praying hard with the worship song on my mp3 that I want to forgive, I want to let God handles my emotions, but a part of me just hold on to the disappointment and hurt!
I saw your message seeking for forgiveness, yet I don’t know how to reply because you are not at fault, how to forgive you? Above that, when I saw that message, I felt worst, because I felt so childish to react in such a way, yet you have to be sorry for nothing. I was guiltier than ever! Above above all, you called me to check on me, asking how I am feeling and trying to cheer me on. I am really a big idiot for behaving in such an unpleasant way. I am sorry.
I went into my dreamland!
I woke feeling fresh and lighten. I guess God must have taken that pain out of me. I seek for his forgiveness and vice versa and now we are friends again. He wants me to trust him again, but I promised him, it won’t be now but seek him for a space for me to stand up once again. I am so thankful for such a friend.
I had the worst Christmas because it was spoilt by last minute changes and plans. It was spoilt by people. It was spoilt by my own emotions. It was just so bad in the past 20 years where I have had a chance to celebrate Christmas. Yet today I had the best Christmas not because I received any present (instead I have yet receive any) except those I pamper myself but because a friendship was reconciliate. It is more rewarding than receiving a gift or giving a gift!
I am really so thankful to God, because after 9 months of struggles, I found my heartbeat that had been tune back to God. I thank God for this new friend of mine and how he walked with me through the past 5 days, opening my eyes to the great calling that God has for me. He was there to consistently reminding me of Faith is the first step to what’s required in my relationship with God. Thank you so much for being my friend! I can only thank God for everything today, be it good or bad. Christmas - the love of God! You are the reason why Jesus came.
*When man’s strength wears out, God’s power kick in*
Merry Christmas
With Love,
Daphne_Chloe_Faith
7:17:00 PM