Saturday, April 01, 2006
....Entry you will not want to read for sure....
Never felt these ways ever
Never was I so pessimistic
Never
How many times has my heart cry out because of the current event? Do you know how I ever feel when I was told I am in the department I am in now? Do you know that I couldn’t bring myself to face the fact of why I am there? I know I am lousy, so why not kick me out. I am a lousy leader.
Crying my heart out! I try to but myself there cause God gave me a peace that He is teaching me to be faithful in little and surely the day will come when He blessed me with plenty. I faced it cause I know there is no alternatives for me to choose. Of course I sucked up to the people in there. What did I get at the end of the days, merely just “scolding” from the old peeps. Old folks stop thinking that I am running this race alone, doing everything myself can, cause what you see is not what is really happening. Seriously I had enough, cause all that I do never seemed to please you. You never encourage me and well all you know is, “Daphne where is your others teammates” or “I am pissed off with what you are giving me”. Hey think how I feel if I were to tell you these when you are doing your work.
Daphne is a lousy leader so please do not keep it to yourself, just come up to me and tell me than to show me that you are never pleased with my works.
I look myself in the mirror
I saw tears of fears
I found how ugly I am looking now
I realized how painful I had dragged my life this far
So much of what I want
So hard to please the world
How I fought with the sun
No words to say
Nobody can seize my day
Daphne is down
Some people just wish to have their parents beside them even if that’s only the presence of the parents. Contrary I want the opposite. Parents are on the edge of quarreling again due to some STUPID REASONS. I really hurt me deep down. Imagine in a small house of mine, they can don’t talk to each other. One leaves home early and back early while the other, the opposite. Dad’s birthday today, yet I am home all alone with the computer, while mum is out with her friends and dad out to work. What a 40th birthday for my dad! How long more do the both of you want to have COLD WAR till?
Dad and mum I am tired. After school, I come home, yet this is what I get. In school, I have to face those people and at home I have to face these rubbish. I am sorry if I had not spared a thought you all, coming home real late and leaving home early. I am sorry but I just want to do something in my teens and really enjoy my Polytechnic life. All that I ask now, will the both of you forgive each other and talk to one another?
Am I really such a big failure?
So many questions yet no answers!
Everthing is changing. Is it for the better or for the worst? Tell me
8:29:00 PM
