From here, I am moving on
This entry is only going to pin down what and how I feel all these while and from here, I promised myself; no more, MOVE ON. *readers, endure with me* (this is just one of those moments that I feel the worst of my life, I am sorry if this entry is going to make you feel anything worst/bad)
I know today is a special unique day. Last year, this day, I have had made a choice I wish I can live with for the rest of my life. Who knows, within a year, so many things can happen, but yet, I found out that one thing has yet to change, and that's my love for you that still beats ever strong.
Today, I put on that extraordinary watch on my hand. Opening a box of mine, I saw that lovely ring laid there, memories were overwhelming me that split moment, but yet I got to bite that bullet of pain, of tears and tell myself, is over, is okay. In that ring of mine, I saw an image of us, walking in a green pastures. I pick up and trying to put it on, it seems a little too big now. =[[ Thus, I hold it in my hand tightly and whisper, “I love you” before I put it back into my box.
Through the day, I walked past many places that remind me of you, even to that corner of my room. A moment I will never forget, the moment you held my hands, and tell me, “You are mine”. Tears flow out of me, when I see those images as images now. Nothing will ever be able to tell you how much I truly love.
Where and what have had happened, I wonder?
Honestly, if this is a love game that I am going to carry on playing, let the hurt be on me and me alone. I don't want to hurt anyone, I am not ready to shelter you with love anymore, to protect you and make sure you will not be harmed. I promised myself that unless and until I can be a do-er of my words, I will remain single.
*to that special one*
I am sorry that we have had to remain as friend, to be someone who may not even communicate, but nevertheless, I thank you for the friendship that was built, the love that was lavished on me. I felt so loved by you, but let me "love" you once, by not hurting you anymore and I don't want to be selfish towards you. Let take time to understand one another once again. So sorry for hurting you, for comparing you, for even to make you jealous from time to time, I am sorry.
*to that prince*
I guess you will never be able to comprehend why I am still like that, and honestly, am okay that you don’t know. I don’t want to say anymore, nor anything, except, “I love you for the rest of my life.” 190908 (1841) – 190909
I am running away.
Life's painful experiences are really teachers for your learning
To bring you to the realization that, discipline and integrity are the
order of the day
What a price you pay for every indiscretion
There is a price to pay for every careless mistake
Yes, the pain seems greater than you can bear
The God I know is righteous and holy
The God I know is faithful and true
The God I know my tower of refuge
Hearts are healed Christ revealed
The God I know light of the city
The God I know strengthens the weak
The God I know your heartbeats lives within me
As you are, so are we